Monday, March 15, 2004

OK, a few points to note:

Firstly, Up until yesterday I was loathing the existence of email for its general information overloading properties, even if said information is very welcome and useful, it is frustrating to require so much time to respond to it all adequately. Thiunnking about it this qualmstill exists for me buti it was offset severely this morning by the quality of received emails. It probably says more about my misuse of the information superhighway that I respond to these on a blog, rather than replying immediately to them but this is a working day ticking away right now... (weak justification for blogging...).

First up, another beautifully crafted email from my friend Matt in the US. No points for guessing he was an English major...

>So I was complaining about something to someone the other day (I forget to whom about what but that's immaterial) and they said something that I thought was absolutely brilliant. "Matt," they said, "instead of just complaining about this why don't you do something about it."
So I did.
What follows is a list of things (in no particular order) that annoy me. Admittedly, this probably wasn't what the person meant when they said I should I should do something but it's a start. So without further ado...

-Non-alcoholic beer
-Decaffienated coffee
- The Family Circus
-People who say "unique" when they mean"unusual"
-Computer-based GRE's
-My mom's cat
-Republicans (there are a few exceptions to this one, such as John McCain and Bob Dole, but they are few and far between)
-Wearing wrinkled clothes
-Driving at sunrise or sunset when the sun is low on the horizon and it's blinding you
-Chris Kattan
-Shopping for a toothbrush (seriously, what the fuck? there's toothbrushes with straight bristles, criss-crossed bristles, a mix of straight and criss-crossed bristles, hard bristles, soft bristles, medium bristles, large heads, small heads, flexible necks, straight necks. Toothbrushes that are guaranteed to reduce plaque, prevent gum disease, clean between the teeth, help you lose weight. Then there's electric toothbrushes. Do you get the one that uses batteries or the one with a base that plugs into an outlet and charges the toothbrush? Do you get the one with the round head that moves in a circular motion or the square head that moves back and forth? I can't wait until I get dental insurance again and the dentist just gives me a new one every six months.)
-Being nearly 23 and still unable to grow a proper beard
-Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh (I know I already covered these guys under Republicans but they're so annoying they deserve a separate mention)
-Being poor
-Having a job
-The radio stations in my area (there's like 4 classic rock stations, 4 hip-hop stations, and 4 top 40 stations so if you want to listen to something other than Nickleback, Ja Rule, or Rush you're shit outta luck. If it wasn't for NPR I'd go crazy.)
-Pop-up ads

Well that's about all I can think of right now so I guess I'll wrap it up. Bye for now.


He sent this email to nigh on 50 people so I have no qualms about reprinting it for public consumption..

Other highlights from my inbox were a long and highly amusing and homesick inducing email from the sister, more longlost emails from lonlost american aquaintances, A topsy turvy email from Jo in Australia - despite her being there for ovre 6 months I have only just come to the realisation that physically she is actually upside down. For yours my subconcsious discounted this as a joke, a young wives tale if you will, but She is Actually Upside Down. (capitals signify the gravity of this point - hohoho).

Also a cryptic email from Glasgow announcing "Fw: Opening hours and power shutdown". Power shutdown? Just what is going on at home? If its not mass staff walkouts its the uitility companies withdrawing the library's supply. Completely!?! I'm pretty sure this never happened last year.. Some dispatches from the frontline of the Glasgow disputes would be greatly appreciated in comments..

Lastly, which should have been firstly, I have to register my disgust at the happenings in Madrid on Thursday. I would have blogged or at least emailed my counterparts in Spain were I not so sickened and world weary. I am currently trying to block out thoughts that this heralds the continuation of a complete nonexistence of morality and rebirth of cruelty in our modern world. A feeling I haven't sensed so intensely since Iraq last year.

As acts like these proliferate there is less and less I feel there is to say.

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