Major Ron Thomson is my beloved lecturer in Mechanics of Solids and Structures 5, the most dull subject in the world were it not for his occasional tangential interjections.

Major Ron on golf:

"If I wanted to put a ball this big [holds up finger and thumb 2 inches apart] in a hole this big [increases finger/thumb gap to 3 inches], located half a mile away, I would not use a bent stick to do it."

Major Ron researches ballistics. Undoubtedly more of his witticisms will followin the future...